Probably the most frequently asked question we hear from new sugar babies is: “how much should I ask for as a monthly allowance? What is fair?”
Well, first of all – you should NEVER have to ASK for ANYTHING. If the gentleman is truly interested, it is up to him to make an offer of a monthly amount that suits his needs and budget. Only he knows his financial situation – you don’t – but you DO know yours and what will work for you.
If he makes a financial offer that meets your needs and you feel a genuine attraction for him, then by all means go for it! If you’re unsure about attraction, best to hold out a few more dates, get to know him better and take your time deciding if he’s the right guy for you. After all, you’re going to be spending a lot of time together.
There are some men who are essentially looking for escorts – or just don’t understand the difference between an escort and a sugar baby. The way to spot them is easy: they will always ask YOU to quote them a price. Don’t do it! You could potentially be putting yourself in a messy legal zone there – should things end badly or if he turns out to be a controlling jealous nutcase, he could potentially ruin your life by charging you with prostitution. So just don’t. I know it’s tempting but really, no….seriously.Don’t.
Of course, this can sometimes lead to a temporary breakdown in negotiations, or at the very least an awkward moment. If he’s possibly just indiscreet or new to the sugar daddy experience, the best way to handle it when asked the dreaded “hey baby – how much?” is to deflect the question. Ignore it – pretend you didn’t hear it if you’re sitting there in person or on the phone. Change the subject. “My, isn’t this lovely weather we’re having?” and give him a knowing wink.
He’ll either get the hint that he screwed up or he won’t. If he continues to press the question and forces you to answer, the best reply is: “I’m not really comfortable with quoting a price. I think that a man should take the lead when it comes to financial matters.”
If THAT doesn’t get the point across, then he’s just a clueless lunkhead. Either way, don’t worry about it. It’s his loss if he messed up a chance to date you. If all he wanted was a sex-for-money transaction anyway, you’re better off without him and he’s better off calling an escort service. Don’t sweat it. Forget it.
NEVER, EVER fall for the scam of having to sexually “audition” for a potential SD before an allowance is in place and you are ready to share the most intimate part of yourself. A lot of fakes will try to impress you with tall tales of how many houses, boats and cars they own to get you in the sack. As with all other things in life, trust but VERIFY.
In the art of negotiation, there is always some “wiggle room” for compromise – and then there are things which you are not willing to compromise on.Stick to your guns at all times and don’t let yourself get rolled over. You know your “no-fly boundaries” better than anyone else in this world, so stay true to your own gut instincts, morals and values.
OK, now for the part you’ve all been waiting for…some idea of a “fair” allowance. Although every situation is different and amounts will vary depending on the level of time, travel and emotional commitment your SD is seeking from you, the table below can at least be used as a basic gauge you can use to avoid getting taken advantage of. Remember, this is intended only to give you a general range of what other sugar babies are known to receive.
First, let’s look at Non-Exclusive Arrangements(meaning you are both free to date other people):
Gentlemen who want to take you out on a date twice a month generally offer gifts or an allowance starting around $1500-3000 (again, depending on the nature of your time together. If he’s wanting you to travel with him or spend full nights/weekends together, then expect the financial gift to be bigger than it would be for in-town date nights.)If he wants to take you out once a week, expect an allowance of $2000-5000 to be offered, again depending on the level of time and emotional commitment he expects to receive in return from you. The higher end of the scale is what you should expect for traveling requests – in addition to having your travel expenses covered.
What about Exclusive Arrangements? (meaning you date only him)
If he wants you to travel frequently or for an extended trip lasting several weeks or months, that means the two of you have progressed to a point where you feel comfortable spending a lot of time together. An offer to “take things to the next level” should involve a re-negotiation or a “raise.” A good general barometer would be to expect him to double whatever amount he was providing before for a non-exclusive arrangement.
You may eventually find yourself being asked to move in with him (note: NEVER do this with someone you haven’t already been dating for several months! Live-in arrangements can be a disaster if you’re incompatible). Or he may offer to provide you an apartment/condo where he can come visit you in private. In such cases, expect the allowance to cover all living expenses, a greatly increased monthly cash allowance (especially if his offer requires that you quit your job), and some form of security should the arrangement end suddenly. Many couples at this stage of the game actually do sign some form of contract or agreement to protect both parties because the assets and risks at this stage become far more serious. So if he’s providing you with a home or a car, best to work out the terms beforehand of what will happen to YOU should things end. (We don’t want to see any homeless/jobless/carless sugar babies out there because they neglected to look out for themselves!)
At these advanced stages, allowances of $10,000-20,000 or more a month is not unusual at all. But just remember that along with the gifts come responsibilities and pressures – for both of you. Your best bet is to always keep things honest and upfront when negotiating and communicating about life’s changes which may affect your present SB/SD environment. Be watchful of unexpected feelings that might arise, such as one person starting to feel more than the other, because somebody’s going to wind up feeling used if it’s not mutual and real. Always be honest about your feelings, especially when you notice them starting to change…that might be the time for both of you to gracefully end the relationship if you’re not on the same page emotionally.
All that being said, there are so many variables to consider when negotiating an arrangement – the above is only intended to guide you and give you a starting point to work from. But again – NEVER allow yourself to be talked into quoting any prices! You’re not selling insurance here.
Let the man be a man and take the lead in negotiations. When it comes to the age-old pursuit of opposite-sex companionship, men are expected to be the more aggressive party, going after what they want. And we all know that when a man sees something he wants – be it a car, the latest gizmo, season tickets for his favorite football team, or a woman – he will waste no time, effort or expense in getting it! That’s what winners do, and if your man is successful in business he knows exactly how to get what he wants. So let that tiger come and get YOU!
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